In what must be the shortest-lived status as "frontrunner" in political history, Barack Obama just crashed and burned in his feint towards the White House.
As any Presidential aspirant worth his Secret Service protection knows, if you can't run with the Big Lizards, stay off the beach:
Talking about Sen. Barack Hussein Obama, jr. (D-IL, 100%), Mara managed to blurt out that he had "a compelling life story."* * * * *
I confess, I was surpised at what an adventurous, danger-filled life he lead, the things those oyster-eyes of his have seen. I learned a great deal I had never known about Obama. I think that after you hear about his disadvantaged upbringing and his sorrows, that you, too, will wish we could give him some sort of prize... other than the presidency, of course, since he's way too liberal and has virtually no experience. And there's that age thing, but I think I already covered that.Obama was born in war-ravaged Honolulu in 1961 (what did I tell you?) His father was a Harvard economist, while his mother was an anthropologist from Kansas; yet despite this deprivation, Obama has gone on to be one of the most celebrated men of recent history.
He spent his formative years learning, teaching, and defending his ancestral manse from marauding members of the haole tribe, who frequently raided to capture slaves for the Dole Pineapple plantation -- which still grew pineapples, rather the tourists, in those days of yore.
During this period, Obama was described by many as the mainstay of the community, the one to whom everyone turned for advice on minimum wage, military redeployment, and animal husbandry. But then, at age two, tragedy struck: Obama's parents divorced. When Obama was six, his mother packed him off to the jungles of Indonesia, where he excelled in the simple but effective guerilla tactics that would later serve him so well as a statesman.
Rescued at age 10, when his mother returned to sanity and to Hawaii -- deadly though it may be, he still called it home -- he enrolled in the fifth grade.
You need to read the rest at the link above.
I am so touched by Obama's story - compelling, ain't it? - that I am positively verklempt.
Talk amongst yourselves.
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Comments (11)
Hilarious!... (Below threshold)1. Posted by SicSemperTyrannus | October 25, 2006 11:11 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hilarious!
1. Posted by SicSemperTyrannus | October 25, 2006 11:11 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 25, 2006 11:11
2. Posted by Jeremy Wien | October 25, 2006 11:14 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Maybe it's just cause I'm tired, but I don't get it.
Is it just that you don't think he's led as hard a life as people think? I'm not going to argue for or against that--but I read your headline and thought, "oh wow, what scandal did Obama partake in?" It's more than a little mis-leading. Unless I completely missed something. Did I?
2. Posted by Jeremy Wien | October 25, 2006 11:14 AM |
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Posted on October 25, 2006 11:14
3. Posted by GOPWins | October 25, 2006 11:17 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Frankly, I'm filled with indifference over this last week's purely media-driven Obama mania. Not sure why you all are taking the bait.
3. Posted by GOPWins | October 25, 2006 11:17 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 25, 2006 11:17
4. Posted by Abu Sahajj | October 25, 2006 12:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Obama as a candidate is really not worth giving this much attention to. Save the political satire for articles that will attract political trolls... it makes for better blogging.
No one is going to bad mouth Obama right now... at least not in an interesting way.
4. Posted by Abu Sahajj | October 25, 2006 12:57 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 25, 2006 12:57
5. Posted by Jim Addison | October 25, 2006 3:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeremy ~ As to what you are missing, I recommend consulting a trained mental health professional. While I have been know to dispense armchair advice, there are some conditions a high colonic simply cannot cure.
Abu ~ Thanks for the blogging tip.
5. Posted by Jim Addison | October 25, 2006 3:03 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 25, 2006 15:03
6. Posted by Jeremy Wien | October 25, 2006 4:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Off-topic...I hear a lot about polls purposely showing Dems doing better than they really are...I've always wondered how it "helps" Democrats to have polls showing them doing better than they are. I understand the argument that some reps might sit out, but so might some Dems who think they'll win regardless. In addition and worse so, it could lead to Dems wasting money in places they really have no chance of competing. I think it hurts the Dems if true.
6. Posted by Jeremy Wien | October 25, 2006 4:22 PM |
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Posted on October 25, 2006 16:22
7. Posted by Jeremy Wien | October 25, 2006 6:52 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jim--I'm being dead serious--I didn't read every word of the article, but it seems to be a sarcastic article parodying Obama's "hard life." Okay.
Did I miss the scandal somewhere???
7. Posted by Jeremy Wien | October 25, 2006 6:52 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 25, 2006 18:52
8. Posted by Jim Addison | October 26, 2006 12:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeremy ~ those big bold letters spelling "SCANDAL" are all in your head. Visual hallucinations can be a sign of serious psychotic disorders which could result in extremely antisocial behaviors, such as voting for Democrats.
Do you hear the voices as well?
8. Posted by Jim Addison | October 26, 2006 12:37 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 26, 2006 00:37
9. Posted by Jeremy Wien | October 26, 2006 8:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Okay Jim--you made you're point--I'm a dumb liberal, all conservatives are wonderful, yada yada...if you could take off your asshole hat for 30 seconds, I'm actually curious if I missed something here.
I 100% agree that the Obama President talk is stupid--he falls into the John Edwards camp of being charismatic but w/not nearly the requisite experience to be President.
All I was simply wondering was if I missed something in that story. When I go to a website and see a big headline that reads, "bye bye Obama" with a byline saying it was the shortest-lived run of all-time, I literally thought he killed someone.
Try to give an actual answer for 1 sentence...DID I ACTUALLY MISS SOMETHING about this story, or is it just mocking his "presidential" status?
THANK YOU.
9. Posted by Jeremy Wien | October 26, 2006 8:32 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 26, 2006 08:32
10. Posted by field negro | October 26, 2006 10:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jim,are you always this rude or does the fact that your party is about to get their ass kicked in this upcoming election bring out the nasty in you? The guy is asking a legitimate question, and frankly, I wondered the same thing.
Did you just feel an urge to write about Obama-must be the whole Oprah thing-or is there a hidden message that only republicans get....I mean sorry, Jeremy is right; just what the f^%& were you trying to say?
10. Posted by field negro | October 26, 2006 10:12 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 26, 2006 22:12
11. Posted by Jim Addison | October 27, 2006 1:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Of all people to complain about "rudeness," they send f-n? The most obnoxious and ill-mannered troll here?
Now, THAT is funny!
I must plead guilty, however. I AM pretty much always rude to slow-witted leftists. BUT ~ I'm a victim of genetic predisposition: I was born lacking the ability to suffer fools gladly.
If the Democrats ever win, I'll probably qualify for a monthly check for that disability.
UNTIL the day my mailbox bears such fruit, though, I must leave you fellows in the dark. My post and the linked article are entirely written in plain English. Perhaps you could find a kind neighbor to explain the big words?
It wasn't I who told Obama his life story merited a book, much less qualified him for the Presidency, though. The whole brouhaha is selling him a ton of books, in any event.
So, I fear, if you can't figure it out, it will just have to remain a mystery.
11. Posted by Jim Addison | October 27, 2006 1:21 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 27, 2006 01:21